Monday, 01st of December
This is a very important month to me. Not only is mine, my husband’s and my daughter’s birthdays. But also my wedding anniversary. 12 years now = Jesus Christ, 12 years!
If you watched the videos I left the links to on the other post you will know by now that I have battled with a drug addiction problem for years without even knowing that was the problem.
My husband was a cocaine addict for years and have managed to stop consuming all by himself with the help of a brillant man called Eckhard Tolle and a therapist called Adrian from http://www.modernmeditation.net . Adrian is a blessed soul that guided him to his recovery. Nothing but bringing him to the now, that is all it takes.
I actually have half of an ebook written about his struggles and how was it for me whithout knowing that my husband was addicted to cocaine and will be publishing it soon. I have a very strong feeling that it will be helping some people out. So watch out for that one.
The whole idea for this blog is to show you how I do it right? Business, kids, house, husband? Yeah very crazy, not easy at all. I give you an example of how I do it in a crises.
My 3 kids have been one way or another unwell for the past probably 7 weeks. They alternate being unwell, which helps. But some times they get ill all in one go.
I think 3 weeks ago Felipe came down with a horrible chest infection with a temperature picking up at 40.2 C. We ended up in hospital for 3 days. Within one day of having complitely recovered he had a ear infection. At the same time Julia started having problems with her bladder, we have a hospital appointment tomorrow afternoon to check it out. Marcus had a viral infection type of reaction to his flaring up eczema, which is still going on right now.
I tell you something in the middle of this mess I didn’t sleep, I was already heavily envolved with the GPS program and fully committed to it so I wasn’t ready to just let go and wait until my schedule was back to normal.
I kept moving forward, one foot in front of the other. One sleepless night in front of another and I made it. I have my priorities sorted in my head and that is my kids and my marriage first. Then the business.
But I also realise that if I am not well nothing else will be well. I am the engine here, I make everything move. And please don’t get me wrong, Nando is bringing the bacon home right now and I so appreciate this man being so strong and beign a hard working family man, he is great. But is me who runs the show in our house and I must be well.
We had a fantastic weekend together and I just realised that I was not paying him enough attention. I come back to my office after the kids go to bed and I still need to do some reading every night before I sleep. But we were not spending ANY time just with ourselves, as a couple. I am taking time out of my schedule for my marriage and that is as concious decision as much as it was to make an appointment with myself from time to time. It’s not a easy thing to do to walk away from your desk knowing all the things that need to be done but still go ahead and spend some time with yourself doing a little bit of nothing, just relaxing a bit, but I am doing this now and it works wonders because I trully deserve it.
I want many other 12 years to go by with this man by my side and for that I need to invest some time on him. That was part of my to do list for this week, I thought I shared with you.
I will come back later to update you on more of my business moves. But for now keep taking notes from my personal life and apply to yours and let me know how you are doing.
Sandra
In Joy With My Self
December 1st, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Hey Sandra;
Nice lookin’ blog
Your ebook sounds great and I know will be a lot of help to many people.
I volunteered on a helpline for addicts once and it was truly heart-breaking when their families called. Listening to their stories was a humbling experience.
btw – the link from your front page is going to http://motherlymarketing.com/?p=46&lang=br and causing a 404 error. I had to remove the ‘&lang=br’ to get here.
My very best wishes
Austin.
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December 3rd, 2008 at 1:30 am
Hi Sandra,
What a great idea for a blog! I am also a student of Alex Jeffreys coaching. I am happy to have Alex as a mentor, this is so exciting!
I am happy that your husband is doing so well. I know that drug addiction is such a hard thing to beat. My daughter is a drug addict. Her drugs of choice are heroin and cocaine mixed together (speedball), and lots of xanax. She is currently in a court ordered recovery house after being in jail, then in a rehab. She is only 23 and has been using various drugs for over 7 years. She has been to so many rehabs, etc.., not by her own choice, but at least she is gaining knowledge each time she is there. I have custody of my grandson at this time, through an attorney. He will be 3 on January 2nd. My daughter obviously doesn’t live with us, and hasn’t for almost 2 years now. The last 2 visits with her have been very good. She just messed up a little over 30 days ago. Actually she messed up the first time she had any little bit of freedom after 7 months of not doing drugs. This scares me, since it’s always been this way. My grandson’s father passed away 2 1/2 years ago from a bad bag of heroin, while he was living in a half way house. My boyfriend that I was with for 10 years also died, from an accidental drug overdose. He was not involved in using hard drugs until he was 42, and he passed away at 45, a little over 3 years ago.
So, anyway, needless to say I am terrified for my daughter. I actually started a blog last year for the parents of adult addicts, but have not worked on it in a long time. I wanted to start over, since I now know much more about blogging.
Sorry for the long post. I wanted you to know that I understand what addiction does to everyone involved, and that I think it’s great that your husband is doing well now.
I’m going to add you to my blogroll. Having Alex as a mentor is going to be such a huge life changing event for all of us!
Talk to you soon,
Lori James
http://www.everythinghomebiz.com
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December 3rd, 2008 at 5:17 am
Dear Lori,
My heart goes out to you immensily. I cannot begin to tell how sorry I am for all your losses, including your daughter because until she recovers you don’t really have her as she came in to this world. I speak from experience because only now I can say with an opened heart that I didn’t have Nando with me, he was gone to his little hell world where he himself didn’t know whether he was alive or dead inside.
Only someone going through or having gone through this ordeal with a loved one can really tell of how painful is to watch someone you love so dearly kill a bit of themselves for one more hit.
I am so positive that my time has come that I can definetely feel it, I can smell the success coming my way.
I am positive that God has sent Alex my way to materialize my knowledge in such a way that this success is coming to me. I know that I am in the right direction, I know I am over sensitive and stuff but I suppose that every human being has the power to tell when something is right, there is a certain vibe to every action you take. Is almost as if life leads you the right way when you follow your guts and you allow your talents to come out.
There are hundreds of things I want to be doing but most definetely one of them is to help wifes, mothers, daughters, sisters and really any type of relative of drug addicts. I know is a bit ambitious but my real wish is to help the drug addicts themselves by using Nando’s story as an example.
He was not the typical junkie at all. He didn’t messed up his income, he never failed to provide for his family and most of all he managed to hide this from me for years. So I would like people to be aware of how addicts behave because sometimes they don’t do what is in the ‘definition’ of a drug addict behaviour.
Anyway many thanks for your visit. I think I will copy this reply on your post as well (just so I don’t have to re-type LOL) and will work on sorting my blogroll today and then add you here as well.
Thanks again Lori and please keep being strong. My upcoming book is all about making YOU strong and not trying to make the addict in your family give up the drugs. You begin the changes with yourself and we do more wrong than you realise when you are involved in their mess. I hope to be able to finish this e-book soon to be honest.
Let’s keep in touch ok?
Take care and lot’s of love,
Sandra
In Joy With My Self
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December 15th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
Hey Sandra,
Thanks, I really like the way you word things, in an encouraging
way instead of an (unencouraging?!) way. I think it’s great that you would like to try to help addicts. The way I see it is if you help even one person change their life for the better it’s all worth it (which can apply to a lot of different situations).
I would like to help addicts too, I know a lot about addiction, I think I’ve read everything there is to read! I’ve also asked a million questions (to my boyfriend and other addicts), so I could at least try to understand what they were going through. I guess the part I have a hard time grasping is when an addict crosses that line to where they lose everyone and everything and it doesn’t matter to them at that moment. I’m trying so hard right now to keep things together (financially at the moment) because I don’t want to lose anything, so that concept is hard for me. I suppose I understand somewhat but not completely!
I will start my blog (the one to help parents of addicts,etc..) later, when I am able to spend a good amount of time with it. When I do start that blog you’re opinion on it would be great!
My daughter just told me that she really doesn’t feel like working towards recovery, she want to get better, but not by having to do anything about it. I know there’s nothing I can do to make her stop if she doesn’t want to.
Anyway, I’ve read some of your other posts also, and I really like your blog! I also feel like this coaching with Alex was brought into my life for a reason (a good reason!).
I can’t wait to read your eBook!
Talk to you soon,
Lori
http://www.everythinghomebiz.com
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